作者: 陈明 翻译 / 7084次阅读 时间: 2017年5月10日
来源: Laura Petrecca 标签: 孤独
Why do we feel so lonely?
Laura Petrecca , USA TODAY心理学空间rV3AEBEiQ
陈明 翻译
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1l0? R5d3U:O$Y"g0Being lonely can cause you so much stress your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. 0




;f"kN;hK2f"ra0There are more ways than ever to connect with others — yet many of us know the hollow ache of loneliness.心理学空间 ib$X b/]r(UY@q"\i

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有很多的方式和他人联系-但我们许多人都知道孤独痛苦的疼痛。心理学空间)SjTy L\o

G6NCX:d.}sPX\0Loneliness isn’t constrained by age, gender, marital status or job title. CEOs feel it. So do cubicle dwellers. As do new moms, granddads, recent college grads and elementary school students.心理学空间"}X"n3xl%e Xs

%W8aM!So WAA0孤独不受年龄、性别、婚姻状况或职称限制。CEO、斗室中的居民、做了妈妈,祖父,新近毕业的大学生和小学生也都会有孤独感。心理学空间Z|fJo4Hi

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Even royalty isn’t immune. Duchess Kate of Cambridge said in April that she has felt lonely and isolated as a mother.




O7u(G;T6uf6c/NS(`0And yes, some of those Facebook friends who continually post photos of bar outings and extended family gatherings may be quite lonely, too.心理学空间i+m*qk/FM*O"N ? X"q)T



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oJW-SA ^.\'d0The prevalence of loneliness "is surprisingly high," says John Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, who has studied the topic extensively.心理学空间Y*lT)X"x%]+vV

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芝加哥大学的认知与社会神经科学中心主任John Cacioppo说:“孤独的盛行高得惊人。”。心理学空间_)?W9Q%X


Loneliness can have negative effects on one's mental and physical health. (May is Mental Health Month.) As a society, we've put increased emphasis on emotional well-being, yet loneliness remains a major issue. Last week, the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging held a hearing on the effect of isolation and loneliness. Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, said, "The consequences of isolation and loneliness are severe — negative health outcomes, higher health care costs and even death."心理学空间CB9]7f'M/W7]l+H

[5M/S`h3m*[i]0孤独会对人的身心健康产生负面影响。(5月是心理健康月)作为一个社会,我们已经把重点放在情感的福祉,但孤独仍然是一个重大问题。上周,美国参议院老龄问题特别委员会举行了孤立和孤独的影响听证会。参议员Susan Collins,r-maine说,“孤独和寂寞的后果是严重的负面的健康结果、更高的医疗成本、甚至死亡。”

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3sn,\1F"YP!x_-m0In 2015, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, one of President Obama's appointees who was recently asked to step down, pointed out the health dangers that can come from "isolation, lack of meaning and a loss of self-worth."

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被奥巴马总统任命,最近被要求下台的美国外科医生Vivek Murthy,在2015年指出,健康的危险可能来自“隔离,缺乏意义和丧失自我价值。”心理学空间#r!rky&X d6@ M,t;e

#j[6j8er Vk0What is loneliness, exactly? Most of us have felt it in some form or another. It's the feeling that arises when there is a gap between social interactions you want and reality. It's feeling separated, even alienated, and can last for a short stretch or a prolonged period of time. It's important to note that you can feel lonely "even when you are around other people,” Cacioppo says.心理学空间x Yl'c"Z J~D

U Zb2m.Pc W1Td,P0孤独到底什么是?我们大多数人都以某种形式或另一种形式感觉到了这一点。当你想要的社会交往和现实之间存在差距时,这种感觉就出现了。这种感觉是分离的,甚至是疏远的,持续时间很短或更长的时间。“重要的是要注意,即使你在别人身边,你也可以感到孤独,”Cacioppo说。

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Loneliness is an issue that spans all age groups in one way or another. In newly released data, the U.K.’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children says that in the past year, it counseled nearly 4,100 children and teens who grappled with loneliness. Some who needed help were as young as 6.心理学空间2tK:R,Y4e

v\#Q%Q]}0孤独是一个以不同方式跨越所有年龄组的问题。在最新公布的数据,英国“全国防止虐待儿童协会”说,过去的一年来,该组织为近4100努力应对孤独的儿童和青少年做咨询。一些需要帮助的人只有6岁。心理学空间3~ ohBk7F

Nf!x5I:@i6H0"I’ve thought about ending my life because I think it’s pointless me being here,” said one anonymous 15-year-old in a transcript provided by the NSPCC. “I don’t feel like anyone cares about me, and I’m lonely all the time."心理学空间o,R(H't7K JY2F3g2{.y



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A 16-year-old said, “I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere, and I have no friends. I hate being this unhappy, but I can’t control it. I feel so alone. Whenever I think about the future, I get scared that I’ll always be by myself because I’m not good-looking or funny enough.”

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CVS_F eh0一个16岁的人说:“我不觉得有任何的地方能够容纳我,我没有朋友。我讨厌这种不快乐,但我不能控制它。我感到如此孤独。每当我想到未来,我都会害怕,我可能一直会独自一人,因为我不好看也很无趣。”

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That scary future of loneliness is a reality for many older adults. Almost half of Americans age 62 and up experience some degree of loneliness, according to a new AARP Foundation survey. Two in 10 say their loneliness is frequent.

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R N CarT0How we talk to each other for work and for play isn't helping心理学空间"e&w Lj3wa%C ia

i[ ?$?0@&y0我们谈论彼此的工作和游戏的方法是没有帮助的心理学空间7^ofr.xy{2B"p|2k9k)^

@0cpti:{2X x0Our workload and work style can contribute to feelings of loneliness, says Jennifer Caudle, an osteopathic family physician and assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine.心理学空间/MB*d.^"Q!A2T


罗恩大学骨科医学院的骨科家庭医师和助理教授珍妮弗·考德(Jennifer Caudle)说,我们的工作量和工作风格会促进孤独感。心理学空间HP r8m5KG2E Z

*q7Ye6\g$xJt0Many of us pull long days, and after we leave, we look at email, read reports and review presentations rather than fully connect with friends and family. Nearly half of U.S. workers check email after they leave work, and 45% work during non-business hours, according to a CareerBuilder survey in 2016.心理学空间-~A E\J(h2rx5s

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niIp/|;A)W z a%q0"Work does not stop anymore, it is always there for us," says Caudle, who notes that those working remotely from others can also feel isolated.心理学空间xSD-w DU s'C"X

8A1u}\7\@EZ2l0“做不完的工作一直在等着我们”Caudle说,从那些遥远地方工作的别人哪儿也能感到孤立。心理学空间*D+Gr B^


On days when she does't interact with students or patients, Caudle says she can feel it.

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"I can go all day and not communicate with a person directly," she says. "I‘m on my computer all day long, and sometimes at the end of the day, even though I’ve been productive, I feel a little empty."心理学空间c8H@ XV@f^

P-{_/WV jhx R0“我可以整天去不直接与他人交流,”她说。我整天在电脑上,有时在一天结束的时候,即使我已经富有成效了,我还是觉得有点空。

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Technology and social media can play a part. We are increasingly adopting digital devices, and social media use has skyrocketed.心理学空间0G(x'Ix1|

3v e"N+J3T7O y)Y0技术和社交媒体可以为孤独扮演一个角色。我们越来越多地采用数字设备,社交媒体的使用率直线上升。心理学空间,MY|Lq5S)I F,U:Z n


Though these tools can be helpful, digital communication often lacks the connection-building nuances that come with face-to-face interactions, says the University of Chicago’s Cacioppo.

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u'e b{,oA+K'j0芝加哥大学的Cacioppo说,尽管这些工具可以有所帮助,但数字交流往往缺乏与面对面的交流产生联系的细微差别。心理学空间SaPlk

)Dxy8?V$wG0“You don’t see their facial expressions,” he says. “You don’t hear their tone of voice.”心理学空间 q.KvYe y^U

? wY m0_@0“你看不到他们的面部表情,”他说。“你听不见他们的声音。”


;DJ9w7|0XpC ec0Even with Skype and FaceTime, “there are so many missing cues,” Cacioppo says.心理学空间TtA:n:{tH

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Z8K)e-EW-b0We can be our own worst enemy心理学空间"s,g"XLOFH
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Risk factors for perceived or actual social isolation include living alone, being unmarried and having few friends, says Brigham Young University psychology and neuroscience professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad.


l/dc2@5pOR&^0Brigham Young大学心理学和神经科学教授Julianne Holt-Lunstad说,感知的或实际的社会隔离的风险因素包括独居,未婚,没有什么朋友。心理学空间+}1^q'[{)\&K"~R

;U[E*h^.E3}B0Other factors include chronic health conditions and mobility impairments.



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Lonely people can automatically put up their guard, which in turn can make it difficult to establish those longed-for connections, Cacioppo says.心理学空间[xmXFK*a@"|

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Cacioppo说,孤独的人会自动建立起他们的防卫,这反过来又会使他们难以建立那些渴望的连接。心理学空间 B mdg7e.@ E)mW

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“When you feel isolated, you feel as if there is no one who you can trust,” he says. “The brain goes into self-preservation mode.”




The stigma that can come with admitting to loneliness means that we sometimes struggle silently. “Nobody wants to say, ‘Hey, I’m lonely,’” says Charlotte Yeh, chief medical officer of AARP Services.

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承认孤独的耻辱意味着我们有时会默默挣扎。AARP服务公司首席医疗官Charlotte Yeh说“没有人想了想说,“嗨,我很孤独。”心理学空间:xad @*a8i5U


If a lonely person does find a helpful resource, he or she isn’t likely to share it with others who could use it, she says, since that would mean admitting to feeling lonely in the first place.心理学空间V*e%t!BWrl"~,_

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Feeling lonely? Do these things心理学空间 NfQ)i1F?.Mc
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/A id)pp%bVJZg0Pick up the phone and call someone. Go outside and take a walk. Spend more time interacting with others in person vs. on social media. There is no one answer — it can be complicated to address loneliness — but some small, proactive steps can help you feel better. If you feel your loneliness is severe and negatively impacting your mental health, there are places to go:


plG+},G fx0拿起电话给某人打电话。出去走走。花更多时间与人互动与社交媒体。没有单一的答案——解决孤独可能是复杂的——但却是微小的的,积极的步骤可以帮助你感觉更好。如果你觉得你的孤独是严重的,负面影响你的心理健康,试着和他人保持连接吧。心理学空间a I;Q?6I,~3B

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