Caregiver Core Sensitivities with a Child Who Has an Avoidant Attachment
The caregiver of an insecure avoidant child encourages independence at the cost of close physical and emotional contact. In the AAI these caregivers are considered “dismissing” of attachment needs on the bottom of the Circle, as stated earlier. They tend to be uncomfortable with direct emotional communication and appear uneasy with the expression of need. Over time, the child of such a parent learns to inhibit direct expression of wants or needs for the caregiver.
不安全回避型儿童的养育者以身体及情感的亲密交流为代价,鼓励孩子的独立性。如前所述,在AAI中,这些养育者被认为“无视”了圆环底部的依恋需要。他们往往不喜欢直接的情感交流,而且对于需要的表达会表现出不安。时间一长,这类家长的孩子就学会了抑制自己直接表达对养育者的渴望或需要。
Hence it is not surprising that typically in the Strange Situation such a child shows little distress when the parent is absent, tends to turn away from the parent upon reunion, and has a relationship strategy intended to not rock the emotional boat. As attachment theorists explain, such a child expects his attachment needs to be dismissed. To avoid the pain of rejection associated with cuing needs on the bottom of the Circle, this child begins to build a pattern of creating distance and prioritizing exploration and/or achievement, which, not coincidentally, is what the child’s parent emphasizes. Parents who emphasize achievement and exploration are often esteem sensitive and are usually comfortable on the top half while being dismissing of bottom-half opportunities.
因此,下面这些就不足为奇了:在陌生情境实验中,这样的孩子在家长不在时一般不会表现出什么痛苦,在团聚中会倾向于远离家长,他们关系策略的目的是不要晃动情感的小船。
依恋理论学家解释的那样,这样的孩子会预期到自己的依恋需要被无视。为了避免发出在圆环底部有需要而被拒绝的痛苦,这个孩子开始建立一种模式,创造距离并优先考虑探索及/或成就,而这并非巧合,正是家长所强调的东西。
就像自尊敏感性的,通常在圆环顶部感到舒适而忽略圆环底部的机会。
强调成就和探索的家长常常是具有