分离个体化的前三个阶段
作者：格丽特·马勒
翻译：柯晓燕 Leo Chen
Mahler M. S. (1972). On the first three subphases of the separation-individuation process. The International journal of psycho-analysis, 53 ( Pt 3), 333–338.
I have based this presentation upon two thoughts of Freud—two pillars of psychoanalytic metapsychology. The first is that, at the time of his biological birth, the human being is brought into the world in an immature state. (This is due to the fact that the over-development of his CNS requires a large cranial cage.) Hence he is at first absolutely, and remains later on—even 'unto the grave'—relatively dependent on a mother.
弗洛依德曾经有过两个说法，这两个说法也构成了精神分析的两大支柱。其一是，自出生起，人类就以不成熟的状态进入这个世界的（这主要是因为个体中枢神经系统发育需要一个过程）。因此，起初他对母亲是绝对依赖的，之后这种依赖会持续到死亡，但是之后的依赖会是相对的。
The second Freudian tenet, which is probably a result of the first, is his emphasis that object relationship—i.e. one person's endowing another with object libido—is the most reliable single factor by which we are able to determine the level of mental health on the one hand and, on the other, the extent of the therapeutic potential.
第二个说法，可能是第一种说法的结果，一个人将客体力比多投注在另一个人身上的能力，也即，客体关系是我们评估一个人心理健康水平及治疗难度的最可靠判断要素。
Object relationship develops on the basis of, and pari passu with, differentiation from the normal mother.infant dual unity, which Therese Benedek (1949) and I, independently of each other, have designated as the normal phase of human symbiosis(Mahler & Gosliner, 1955).
我和特丽莎.贝内德克(Therese Benedek)不约而同的提出了“人类共生阶段”这个说法（Mahler & Gosliner, 1955），我认为客体关系是是从母婴共生中分化出来的。
'Growing up' entails a gradual growing away from the normal state of human symbiosis, of 'one-ness' with the mother. This process is much slower in the emotional and psychic area than in the physical one. The transition from lap-babyhood to toddler-hood goes through gradual steps of a separation-individuation process, greatly facilitated on the one hand by the autonomous development of the ego and, on the other hand, by identificatory mechanisms of different sorts. This growing away process is—as Zetzel, Winnicott and also Sandler & Joffe indicate in their work—a lifelong mourning process. Inherent in every new step of independent functioning is a minimal threat of object loss.
“成长”意味着个体逐渐摆脱与母亲“融合”的共生状态。这个过程，就情感和心理意义上，比生理意义上要缓慢得多。一个孩子从会坐到会走之间，经历了一个渐近的分离个体化过程，这个过程一方面被自我的自主功能发展所推动，另一方面是被不同的识别机制所推动。正如Zetzel，温尼科特以及Sandler & Joffe在他们的著作里指出的，而在独立/成长的道路上个体每往前迈一步，都会产生一个比较小的客体丧失威胁，成长是一个终身的哀悼过程。
Following my work with a few psychotic latency children, whom I tried to help with the traditional child analytic method in Vienna back in the 1930s—and on the basis of engrams left in my mind as a paediatrician and head of a well-baby clinic, after having studied tics and early infantile psychosis from the early 1940s on—I decided to look more closely at the fountainhead—to examine the phenomena that those two Freudian thoughts I mentioned earlier entail. I decided to study the earliest average mother.infant and mother.toddler interaction in situ.
1930年代我在维也纳尝试曾使用经典儿童精神分析法治疗具有精神病风险的儿童，也担任儿科医生和儿童门诊负责人，20世纪40年代初我开始研究抽搐和儿童精神病时，我计划对前面提到的两个弗洛伊德说法开展更深入的研究。最后我将研究领域细化在在母亲-婴儿常规互动和母亲-学步期孩子的常规互动上。
The biological birth of the human infant and the psychological birth of the individual are not coincident in time. The former is a dramatic and readily observable, well-circumscribed event; the latter, a slowly unfolding intrapsychic process.
生物学意义上的人类婴儿出生与心理意义上的出生在时间上并不一致。前者是一个时间点非常明确、引人注目的、易于观察的事件，而后者则是一个缓慢的心理过程。
For the more or less normal adult, the experience of being both fully 'in' and at the same time basically separate from the 'world out there' is among the givens of life that are taken for granted. Consciousness of self and absorption without awareness of self are the two polarities between which we move, with varying ease and with varying degrees of alternation or simultaneity. This too is the result of a slowly unfolding process. In particular, this development takes place in relation to (a) one's own body, and (b) the principal representative of the world, as the infant experiences it, namely the primary love object. As is the case with any intrapsychic process, this one reverberates throughout the life cycle. It is never finished; it can always become reactivated; new phases of the life cycle witness new derivatives of the earliest process still at work (cf. Erikson, 1968). However, the principal psychological achievements in this process take place, as we see it, in the period from about the fourth or fifth to the 30th or 36th months of age, a period that we refer to—at Dr Annemarie Weil's helpful suggestion (personal communication)—as the separation-individuation phase.
对于正常的成年人来说，完全“融入”“外部世界”，同时保有“世界”与自己是分开的体验，被视为生命理所当然的馈赠之一。“沉浸在自我感受中“与“忘我的专注”以共存或交替的方式存在于我们身上，伴随着程度的变化。这也是个人心理逐渐发展的结果。特别是，这种发展过程发生在(a)自己的身上和(b)自己关注的人上，比如婴儿主要关注对象是母亲。与任何心理过程一样，这种交互影响贯穿 “我们”一生。它永远不会结束，它总是可以重新激活，生命的每个新阶段都会见证了这个过程的重复（参见埃里克森，1968）。然而，正如我们所见，这个过程的主要模式主要形成在孩子4、5个月到2岁半至三岁之间，在安妮玛丽·威尔医生（Annemarie Weil）的建设性提议下，我们将这个阶段称为分离个体化。
In the course of our rather unsystematic naturalistic pilot study, we could not help but take note of certain clusters of variables at certain crossroads of the individuation process, insofar as they repeated themselves. This strongly suggested to us that it would be to our advantage to subdivide the data that we were collecting on the intrapsychic separation and individuation process, in accordance with the repeatedly observable, behavioural and other surface referents of that process. Our subdivision was into four subphases: differentiation, practising, rapproachement, and 'on the way to libidinal object constancy'. (The timing of these subphases is still inaccurate, and we are still working on the timetable as we go along with the processing of our data.)
在我们相当不系统的以观察为主的研究过程中，个体化开始出现分岔的时候，有一些变量总是会重复出现，导致我们不自觉地留意到这些变量。这有力地向我们表明，依照行为上的和其他可重复观察到的现象，对我们收集到的分离个体化的数据进行细分会是一件非常有价值的事情。我们最后将分离个体化细分为4个子阶段：分化萌芽期、探索期、意识到世界并不如意、和建立客体恒常性期。（目前划分这些子阶段的时间节点还不明确，我们还努力处理数据以求划出清晰的时间节点。）
I should also mention in passing that I have described an objectless phase: the phase of normal autism, and the phase corresponding to Anna Freud's 'need-satisfying' and Spitz's 'pre-object' phase—which I like to call the symbiotic phase. Both these precede the first subphase of separation-individuation—that of differentiation.
在过去我提到的一个无客体的阶段—正常自闭期，这个阶段对应着与安娜∙弗洛依德的“需求满足”、斯皮茨的“前客体”阶段，我倾向于将之称为共生阶段，不论是我的还是安娜等人所指的所有这些都是指分离个体化的第一个子阶段，即分化萌芽期。
DIFFERENTIATION
第一个阶段：分化萌芽期
At about four to five months of age, at the peak of symbiosis, the behavioural phenomena seem to indicate the beginning of the first subphase of separation-individuation—called differentiation. It is synonymous in our metaphorical language with 'hatching from the mother.infant symbiotic common orbit'. During the symbiotic months, through that activity of the pre-ego, which Spitz has described as coenaesthetic receptivity, the young infant has familiarized himself with the mothering half of his symbiotic self, indicated by the unspecific, social smile. This smile gradually becomes the specific (preferential) smiling response to the mother, which is the supreme sign that a specific bond between the infant and his mother has been established.
在大约在孩子4、5个月大，共生高峰期时，一些行为显示了分离个体化的第一个子阶段，即分化期开始出现了，代表着于“从母婴共生状态中孵化出来”。在共生的这的几个月里，通过前自我的活动，Spitz称之为感觉接受能力，婴儿借助共生中被母亲照料的那一半熟悉了自己，表现出不特定的社交微笑，渐渐的变成（优先）对母亲产生了特定的微笑反应，这是婴儿和母亲之间建立特定联系的最好证明。
When inner pleasure, due to safe anchorage within the symbiotic orbit—which is mainly entero-proprioceptive and contact perceptual—continues, and pleasure in the maturationally increasing outer sensory perception stimulates outward-directed attention cathexis, these two forms of attention cathexis can oscillate freely (Spiegel, 1959); (Rose, 1964). The result is an optimal symbiotic state, out of which smooth differentiation—and expansion beyond the symbiotic orbit—can take place. This 'hatching' process is, I believe, a gradual ontogenetic evolution of the sensorium—the perceptual-conscious system—which leads to the infanttoddler's having a more permanently alert sensorium, whenever he is awake (cf. also Wolff, 1959).
在共生的安全氛围中,主要是肢体接触带来的感知和肠本体感觉所带来的愉悦在个体内部持续存在，以及外部刺激逐渐成熟的外部感官给个体带去的愉悦，所导致的注意力投注，这两种形式的专注可以自由振荡（(Spiegel，1959；Rose，1964）。结果是一种最佳的共生状态，在这种状态下，共生状态之外的分化被拓展出来，并且平稳发展。我认为，这一“孵化”过程是一个个体的感觉-知觉-意识系统逐渐发育的过程，这也预示着婴儿-学步期儿童，在醒着时，有一个持续存在的敏锐感官系统（参见Wolff，1959）。
In other words, the infant's attention—which during the first months of symbiosis was in large part inwardly directed, or focused in a coenaesthetic and somewhat vague way within the symbiotic orbit—gradually gains a considerable accretion through the coming into being of a perceptual activity that is outwardly directed during the child's increasing periods of wakefulness. This is a change of degree rather than of kind, for during the symbiotic stage the child has certainly been highly attentive to the mothering figure. But gradually that attention is combined with a growing store of memories of mother's comings and goings, of 'good' and 'bad' experiences; the latter were altogether unrelievable by the self, but were predictably relieved by mother's ministrations.
换言之，在共生的最初几个月婴儿的注意力大部分是向内的，或者注意力以一种有些模糊的感同身受方式集中在共生状态，随着婴儿的对外界的感知能力的增长，婴儿的注意力逐渐不断地在积累的基础上得以拓展。由于在共生阶段，孩子最关注的是母亲，所以孩子的这种变化更多是一种量上的变化，而不是质的变化，。慢慢地，随着越来越多的母亲离开和出现、“好”和“坏”体验的记忆和这种注意力整合在了一起；对于其中不好的体验孩子是无法靠自己得以完全修复，但是我们可以预见母亲的照料是可以修复这部分的。
Six to seven months is the peak of the child's hair-pulling, face-patting, manual, tactile and visual exploration of the mother's mouth, nose, face, as well as the covered (clad) and unclad feel of parts of the mother's body; and furthermore the discovery of a brooch, eyeglasses or a pendant attached to the mother. There may be engagement in peek-a-boo games in which the infant still plays a passive role. This later develops into the cognitive function of checking the unfamiliar against the already familiar—a process that Sylvia Brody termed 'customs inspection'.
孩子会通过拽头发、拍脸的方式，用手、触觉和视觉的方式对母亲的嘴、鼻子、脸以及身体遮盖（包裹）的部分和未遮盖的部分进行探索，这种行为在孩子6到7个月大的时候会到高峰期。此外，孩子还会发现母亲佩戴的胸针、眼镜或吊坠。孩子可能开始玩躲猫猫游戏，但在这个过程中孩子扮演的仍然是一个被动角色。之后这些会逐渐发展成为“通过比对熟悉的事物来发现和了解自己不熟悉的事物”的认知功能，西尔维娅·布洛迪（Sylvia Brody）将之称为“海关检查”。
It is during the first subphase of separation-individuation that all normal infants achieve their first tentative steps of breaking away, in a bodily sense, from their hitherto completely passive lap-babyhood—the stage of dual unity with the mother. They stem themselves with arms and legs against the holding mother, as if to have a better look at her as well as at the surroundings. One was able to see their individually different inclinations and patterns, as well as the general characteristics of the stage of differentiation itself. They all like to venture and stay just a bit away from the enveloping arms of the mother; if they are motorically able to slide down from mother's lap, they tend to remain or to crawl back as near as possible and play at the mother's feet.
正是在分离个体化的第一个阶段，正常情况下，从身体意义上来说，所有婴儿都能从，只能坐在母亲膝盖上与母亲融合的完全被动的状态，实现分离初步尝试。他们会用手臂和腿抵住母亲的抱持，似乎是想要更好地观察母亲和周围的环境。在这个过程中我们能够辨识出他们各自不同的倾向和模式，以及分化阶段本身的一般特征。这个阶段他们都喜欢冒险，稍稍远离母亲紧紧环绕的手臂；如果他们能够从母亲的膝盖上下来，他们喜欢留在母亲身边或爬到离母亲尽可能近的地方，比如，在母亲的脚边玩耍。
Once the infant has become sufficiently individuated to recognize the mother, visually and tactilely, he then turns, with greater or less wonderment and apprehension (commonly called 'stranger reaction'), to a prolonged visual and tactile exploration and study of the faces of others, from afar or at close range. He appears to be comparing and checking the features —appearance, feel, contours and texture—of the stranger's face with his mother's face, as well as with whatever inner image he may have of her. He also seems to check back to her face in relation to other interesting new experiences.
一旦婴儿个体化进展到能够从视觉和触觉上识别出母亲后，面对陌生人，婴儿就会或多或少地感到惊讶和恐惧（通常称为“陌生人反应”），他会从远处或近距离对他人的面部进行长时间视觉和触觉的探索和研究。他似乎在对比陌生人与母亲在脸部特征、外观、感觉、轮廓和纹理、以及其他心理印象上的差异。如果联想到其他有趣的新体验，他还会回头看看母亲的脸。
In children for whom the symbiotic phase has been optimal and 'confident expectation' has prevailed (Benedek, 1938), curiosity and wonderment are the predominant elements of their inspection of strangers. By contrast, among children whose basic trust has been less than optimal, an abrupt change to acute stranger anxiety may make its appearance; or there may be a prolonged period of mild stranger reaction, which transiently interferes with pleasurable inspective behaviour. This phenomenon and the factors underlying its variations constitute, we believe, an important aspect of and clue to our evaluation of the libidinal object, of socialization, and of the first step towards emotional object constancy.
对于那些在共生阶段，表现比较优异且“自信”的婴儿（Benedek，1938），他们在观察陌生人时，主要体验到的是好奇和惊奇。相比之下，对于信任能力较差的婴儿，可能会出现严重的认生，或者可能会有一段时间的轻度认生，这个会短暂地干扰令人愉悦的审视陌生人行为。我们认为，这一现象及其构成其变化的因素，构成了我们评估个体的欲望客体、社会化以及客体恒常性第一步时的重要线索和方面。
THE BEGINNING PRACTISING PERIOD
第二个阶段：探索期
The period of differentiation is followed—or rather, is overlapped—by a practising period. This takes place usually from about seven to ten months, up to 15.16 months of age. In the course of processing our data we found it useful to think of the practising period in two parts: (1) the early practising phase—overlapping differentiation —characterized by the infant's earliest ability to move away physically from mother by crawling, climbing and righting himself, yet still holding on; and (2) the practising period proper, characterized by free, upright locomotion.
分化期以后紧跟着探索期，或者说分化期与探索期重叠。探索期通常从孩子7至10个月大开始，持续到15、16个月大。我们在处理探索期的数据时，我们发现将探索期分为以下两个阶段会比较好。（1）早期的探索：与分化期重叠，其特征是婴儿能够通过向前爬、向上爬和调整姿势的方式远离母亲，但这时仍是在母亲的注视下；（2）真正意义上的探索，以自由的移动、行走为特征。
At least three interrelated, yet discriminable, developments contribute to and/or, in circular fashion, interact with the child's first steps into awareness of separateness and into individuation. They are: the rapid body differentiation from the mother; the establishment of a specific bond with her; and the growth and functioning of the autonomous ego apparatuses in close proximity to the mother.
至少有三种相互关联、但可区分的功能发育，有助于孩子分离个体化或以循环的方式参与分离个体化。它们是：在身体上快速离开母亲；与母亲建立特定的联系；以及那些协助孩子靠近母亲的器官和功能的发育。
It seems that the new pattern of relationship to mother paves the way for the infant to spill over his interest in the mother on to inanimate objects—at first those provided by her—such as toys which she offers, or the bottle with which she parts from him at night. The infant explores these objects visually with his eyes, and their taste, texture and smell with his contact perceptual organs, particularly the mouth and the hands. One or the other of these objects becomes a transitional object. Moreover, whatever the sequence in which these functions develop in the beginning practising period, the characteristic of this early stage of practising is that, while there is interest and absorption in these activities, interest in the mother definitely seems to take precedence. We also observed in this early period of practising that the 'would-be fledgling' likes to indulge in his budding relationship with the 'other than mother' world.
与母亲新的关系模式，似乎为婴儿将自己的兴趣从母亲身上转移到其他物体上铺平了道路，比如，最开始可能是母亲提供的，比如玩具或者母亲晚上拿走的奶瓶等。婴儿用眼睛、嘴和手，探索它们的味道、质地和气味。这些客体中的其中一个或另一个后来成为了过渡性客体。此外，在开始探索期不论这些功能的是按照何种顺序发展，这个阶段的一个特点是，即使婴儿对这些物品非常感兴趣并会痴迷这些物品，但他们最感兴趣的还是对母亲。我们还观察到，在早期探索期，这些“跃跃欲试的婴儿”是喜欢与“母亲以外”世界发展关系的。例如，我们曾经研究了一个此年龄段的孩子，这个孩子因为一些原因不得不住院一周。住院期间，他似乎对自己被限制在病床上感到十分沮丧，非常渴望有人能带他离开。从医院回家后，他与母亲的关系变得不那么排外，没有表现出过于执拗的反应，也没表现出分离焦虑；他在医院和家里最需要的是有人牵着他的手散步。虽然他仍然更希望母亲牵着他散步，但他也愿意接受其他人。
For instance, we observed one child, who during this period had to undergo hospitalization of a week's duration. During that period, it seems, he was frustrated most by his confinement to a crib, so that he welcomed anyone who would take him out of it. When he returned from the hospital, the relationship to his mother had become less exclusive, and he showed no clinging reaction or separation anxiety; his greatest need now in the Center and at home was to be taken for walks, with someone holding his hand. While he continued to prefer his mother to do this—with and for him—he would readily accept substitutes.
The optimal psychological distance in this early practising subphase would seem to be one that allows the moving, exploring child freedom and opportunity for exploration at some physical distance from mother. It should be noted, however, that during the entire practising subphase mother continues to be needed as a stable point—a 'home base' to fulfil the need for refuelling through physical contact. We see seven-to ten-month-olds crawling or rapidly paddling to the mother, righting themselves on her leg, touching her in other ways, or just leaning against her. This phenomenon was termed by Furer 'emotional refuelling'. It is easy to observe how the wilting and fatigued infant 'perks up' in the shortest time, following such contact; then he quickly goes on with his explorations, and once again becomes absorbed in his pleasure in functioning.
在早期探索阶段的最好的情况是，允许孩子与母亲保持一定距离，给孩子自由和机会去探索。然而，应注意的是，在整个探索阶段，母亲仍然要作为一个稳定的“安全基地”存在于孩子的世界中，孩子需要通过与母亲进行肢体接触获得激励。我们看到7到10个月大的孩子会爬向或快速划向母亲，在她腿上扭动身体，或者靠在母亲身上，或用其他方式触摸她。Furer将这种现象称为“情感加油”。我们也很容易观察到一些很丧和萎靡的婴儿在接触到母亲的身体后，迅速“振作起来”，继续他之前的探索，并再次沉浸在探索带来的乐趣中。
Mark was one of those children who had the greatest difficulty in establishing a workable distance between himself and mother. His mother was ambivalent as soon as Mark ceased to be part of herself, her symbiotic child. At times she seemed to avoid close body contact; at other times she might interrupt Mark in his autonomous activities to pick him up, hug him and hold him. She did this, of course, when she needed it, not when he did. This ambivalence on mother's part may have been what made it difficult for Mark to function at a distance from his mother.
我们接触过一个孩子叫马克，发生在他身上的情况与母亲保持安全的距离变得非常困难。当马克不再与其母亲共生时，马克母亲就会变得很纠结。有时她似乎会尽量避免与马克进行身体的接触，其他时候，她可能会打断马克的活动，把马克抱起来紧紧的拥在怀里。她这么做当然不是孩子的需要，而是出于她自己的需要。母亲的矛盾可能导致马克难以与母亲保持足够的距离。
During the early practising subphase, following the initial push away from mother into the outside world, most of the children seemed to go through a brief period of increased separation anxiety. The fact that they were able to move independently, yet remain connected to mother—not physically, but through the distance modalities, by way of their seeing and hearing her—made the successful use of these distance modalities extraordinarily important for a while. The children did not like to lose sight of mother; they might stare sadly at her empty chair, or at the door through which she had left.
绝大多数孩子在探索的早期阶段，离开母亲进入外部世界时似乎都经历了短暂的、急剧上升的分离焦虑。事实上，他们能够独立的同时，能够借助看到和听到母亲的方式与母亲保持联系显得格外重要。一旦孩子看不到母亲，他们可能就会悲伤地盯着她的空椅子，或者盯着她离开的那扇门。
Many of the mothers seemed to react to the fact that their infants were moving away by helping them move away, i.e. by giving them a gentle, or perhaps less gentle, push. Mothers also became interested in and sometimes critical of their children's functioning at this point; they began to compare notes, and they showed concern if their child seemed to be behind. Sometimes they hid their concern in a pointed show of non-concern. In many mothers, concern became especially concentrated in eagerness that their children should begin to walk. Once the child was able to move away some distance, it was as if suddenly these mothers began to worry about his being able to 'make it' out there, in the world, where he would have to fend for himself. In that context, walking seemed to have great symbolic meaning for both mother and toddler: it was as if the walking toddler had proved by his attainment of independent upright locomotion that he had already graduated into the world of fully independent human beings. The expectation and confidence that mother exudes that her child is now able to 'make it out there' seems to be an important trigger for the child's own feeling of safety and perhaps also for his exchanging some of his magical omnipotence for autonomy and developing self-esteem (Sandler et al., 1963).
许多母亲似乎会通过比如，温柔地或也可能没那么温柔地推他们一把，帮助孩子离开，以对孩子离开的事实做出反应。此时，母亲也开始对孩子的这个功能发展产生兴趣，有时甚至挑剔；开始跟其他的母亲交换意见，似乎她们开始担忧他们孩子的落后。有时，她们会用一种刻意的不关心来掩饰自己的焦虑。许多母亲会对孩子“开始走路”尤其关心。似乎一旦孩子能够离开一段距离，这些母亲可能就开始担心他是能够在这个必须照顾自己的世界上“成功”。在这种情况下，“学走路”对母亲和孩子来说似乎都具有重大的意义：仿佛会走路的幼儿已经通过其独立行走证明，他成功进入了独立的成人世界。而在孩子能够“走出去”上母亲所表现出的期望和信心，似乎是触发孩子自身安全感的重要因素，可能促使孩子们的全能感被成功的替换为自主和积极的自尊 （Sandler等，1963）。
THE PRACTISING SUBPHASE PROPER
2.1完整意义上的探索
With the child's spurt in autonomous functions, especially upright locomotion, the 'love-affair with the world' (Greenacre, 1957) is at its height. During these precious six to eight months (from 10.12 to 16.18 months), for the junior toddler the world is his oyster. Libidinal cathexis shifts substantially into the service of the rapidly growing autonomous ego and its functions; the child seems intoxicated with his own faculties and with the greatness of his world.
在从10~12个月到16~18个月的这宝贵6到8个月，随着孩子自主功能的迅速发展，尤其可以走路之后，“他们对世界的爱”（Greenacre，1957）达到了顶峰，世界仿佛就在他手中。力比多贯注开始服务于快速增长的自主自我及其功能，孩子也开始陶醉于自己的能力和世界的美妙之中。
At the same time, we see a relatively great imperviousness to knocks and falls and other frustrations, such as a toy being grabbed by another child. As the child, through the maturation of his locomotor apparatus, begins to venture farther and farther away from the mother's feet, he is often so absorbed in his own activities that for long periods of time he appears to be oblivious of the mother's presence. However, he returns periodically to the mother, seeming to need her physical proximity and refuelling from time to time.
与此同时，我们看到这个阶段，孩子遇到磕碰、跌倒以及其他挫折，比如玩具被另一个孩子抢走时，孩子的反应是比较小的。随着孩子运动机能的成熟，他开始离母亲越来越远，经常全神贯注在自己的事情上，以至于在很长一段时间里，他似乎忘记了母亲的存在。然而，他会定期回到母亲身边，似乎需要通过接触她的身体和不时的心力补充。
It is not at all impossible that the elation of this subphase has to do not only with the exercise of the ego apparatuses, and the body feeling of locomotion in the upright position like the bipedal grown-up dashing through the air, but also with the elation of escape from absorption into the orbit of mother. From this standpoint, we might say that, just as the infant's peek-a-boo games seem to turn from passive to active—the losing and then regaining of the love object—the toddler's constant running off, to be swooped up by mother, turns his fear of re-engulfment by mother from passive to active. This behaviour also, of course, guarantees that he will be caught, i.e. it confirms over and over again that he is connected to mother, and still wishes to be. We need not assume that the child's behaviour is intended to serve these functions when it first makes its appearance; but it is necessary to recognize that it produces these effects, which can then be repeated intentionally.
有可能的是，孩子这一阶段所表现出的兴奋，不仅与孩子可以运用自我机能，还包括，站立状态下的身体移动感觉有关，这就像成年人在空中飞奔一样，此外行走的感觉还涉及到成功逃离母亲共生的诱惑所带来的刺激感。从这个角度来看，我们可以说，这个阶段孩子在躲猫猫游戏中似乎从被动变为主动，那些刚会走的孩子不断地逃跑，不断被母亲捉住，让他在面对“被母亲吞噬的恐惧”时从被动变为了主动。当然，这种行为也保证了他会被抓住，也就是说，一次又一次地确认他与母亲是连接的，并且仍然希望与母亲连接。我们不必假设孩子的行为在第一次出现时是为了这些功能，但有必要认识到，这个行为会产生这些影响，然后这些影响会被有意重复。
Phenomena of mood are of great importance at this stage. Most children in the practising subphase appeared to have major periods of exhilaration, or at least of relative elation; they became low-keyed only when they became aware that mother was absent from the room. At such times, their gestural and performance motility slowed down; their interest in their surroundings diminished; and they appeared to be preoccupied once again with inwardly concentrated attention, with what Rubinfine (1961) called 'imaging'.
这个阶段的情绪现象是非常重要的。大多数处于实践阶段的孩子似乎有以兴奋为主的时期，或者至少有相对的兴奋时候。只有当他们意识到母亲不在房间时，他们才变得低落。在这种情况下，他们的动作会减慢，对周围环境的兴趣减弱了，这时他们似乎会再次尝试调动自己的注意力，Rubinline（1961）称之为“成像”。
2.2来自孩子的克制 LOW-KEYEDNESS
Our inferences about the low-keyed state start from two recurrent phenomena: (1) if a person other than mother actively tried to comfort the child, he would lose his emotional balance and burst into tears; and (2) the visible termination of the child's 'toned-down' state, at the time of his reunion with the briefly absent mother, both these phenomena heightened our awareness that, up to that point, the child had been in a special 'state of self'. This low-keyedness and inferred 'imaging' of mother are reminiscent of a miniature anaclitic depression. We tend to see in it the child's effort to hold on to a state of mind that Joffe & Sandler (1965) have termed 'the ideal state of self', what Kaufman & Rosenblum (1967) have termed 'conservation withdrawal' in monkeys.
我们从以下两个反复出现的现象推断出来出这种状态的存在：（1） 如果母亲以外的人努力的尝试安慰孩子，他就会情绪失控，并且放声大哭；2）孩子再次见到母亲时，他“低落”状态会终止，这两种现象都让我们意识到，到那时为止，孩子一直处于一种特殊的“自我状态”。这种低落和对母亲“成像”的推测让人想起了一种由依赖导致的轻度抑郁。我们看到孩子努力尝试保持一个心态，这个心态Joffe和Sandler（1965）将之称为“自我的理想状态”，Kaufman和Rosenblum（1967）在猴子身上发现了类似的反应，将这个反应称为“为了节约心理能量的退缩反应“。
第三个阶段：这个世界并不如意 THE SUBPHASE OF RAPPROCHEMENT
The third subphase of separation-individuation (from about 16 to 25 months) begins hypothetically by mastery of upright locomotion and consequently less absorption in locomotion per se.
分离个体化的第三个阶段（14个月到3岁之间）始于孩子可以熟练走路，在这个阶段孩子会慢慢减少其对运动本身的迷恋。
By the middle of the second year of life, the infant has become a toddler. He now becomes more and more aware, and makes greater and greater use of his awareness of physical separateness. Yet, side by side with the growth of his cognitive faculties and the increasing differentiation of his emotional life, there is a noticeable waning of his previous imperviousness to frustration, as well as of his relative obliviousness to the mother's presence. Increased separation anxiety can be observed—a fear of object loss inferred from the fact that when he hurts himself he discovers, to his perplexity, that his mother is not automatically at hand. The relative lack of concern about the mother's presence that was characteristic of the practising subphase is now replaced by active approach behaviour, and by a seemingly constant concern with the mother's whereabouts. As the toddler's awareness of separateness grows—stimulated by his maturationally acquired ability physically to move away from his mother, and by his cognitive growth—he now seems to have an increased need and wish for his mother to share with him every new acquisition on his part of skill and experience. We call this subphase of separation-individuation, therefore, the period of rapprochement.
通常1岁半大孩子已经可以蹒跚走路了。他变得越来越有意识，并越来越多地利用他对身体分离的意识。然而，随着他的认知能力的提升和情感的分化，之前对挫折的不敏感开始下降，也相对更少忽略母亲的存在。这个阶段我们可以观察到孩子身上会出现更严重的分离焦虑—比如他们开始自己失去客体（母亲），孩子会困惑的发现当他受伤时母亲并不是一定会在他身边的。探索阶段的孩子出现特征是相对不关心母亲的存在，现在取而代之的是持续关注母亲的行踪，并积极的向母亲靠近。随着孩子后天习得的离开母亲能力的发展，以及日渐成熟的认知能力，孩子意识到的分离也会逐渐增加，他似乎越来越渴望并需要与母亲分享他在技能和经历上的每一次体验。我们将这个阶段为和解期。
The earlier 'refuelling' type of contact with mother, which the baby sought intermittently, is now replaced by a quest for constant interaction of the toddler with mother (and also with father and familiar adults) at a progressively higher level of symbolization. There is an increasing prominence of language, vocal and other intercommunications, as well as symbolic play.
早期婴儿间歇性的借助与母亲进行肢体接触来向寻求“鼓励”，在这个阶段逐渐被母子间（以及孩子与父亲/其他熟悉的成年人）更高水平上互动，比如借助语言、声音和其他交流以及象征性游戏，所取代。
In other words, when the junior toddler grows into the senior toddler of 18 to 24 months, a most important emotional turning point is reached. The toddler now begins to experience, more or less gradually and more or less keenly, the obstacles that lie in the way of his anticipated 'conquest of the world'. Side by side with the acquisition of primitive skills and perceptual cognitive faculties, there has been an increasingly clear differentiation between the intrapsychic representation of the object and the self-representation. At the very height of mastery—towards the end of the practising period—it has already begun to dawn on the junior toddler that the world is not his oyster; that he must cope with it more or less 'on his own', very often as a relatively helpless, small and separate individual, unable to command relief or assistance, merely by feeling the need for them, or giving voice to that need.
换句话说，当蹒跚学步的孩子长到18到24个月大时，一个在情感上非常重要的转折点就出现了。幼儿逐渐开始或多或少觉察到，那些阻碍他 “征服世界”过程中的障碍。伴随着原始技能和认知能力的发育，出现的是，客体的心理表征和自我表征之间的差异越来越明显。在探索期快结束的时候，孩子也逐渐开始明白世界不由他掌控；更经常的情况下他是一个相对无助、渺小和独立的个体，无法仅通过感觉到他需要指挥他人或者帮助，或表达这种需求来获得他想要的，这意味着他必须或多或少地“独自”应对。对这个阶段孩子求助行为的质和量进行评估，能很好地反映孩子个体化的进展。
The quality and measure of the wooing behaviour of the toddler during this subphase provide important clues to the assessment of the normality of the individuation process.
Incompatibilities and misunderstandings between mother and child can be observed even in the case of the normal mother and her normal toddler, these being in part specific to certain seeming contradictions of this subphase. Thus, in the subphase of renewed, active wooing, the toddler's demand for his mother's constant participation seems contradictory to the mother: while he is now not as dependent and helpless as he was six months before, and seems eager to become less and less so, nevertheless he even more insistently expects the mother to share every aspect of his life. During this subphase some mothers cannot accept the child's demandingness; others cannot face the fact that the child is becoming increasingly independent and separate.
在这个阶段母子之间，常可以观察到误解和争执，在一定程度上是该阶段必然出现的某些情况。在重新开始的主动求助阶段，孩子要求母亲持续参与到他们的活动中，在母亲看来似乎有点矛盾：现在他已经不像半岁之前那么无助，什么事情都需要大人，但孩子开始变得越来越离不开母亲，坚持要与母亲分享他生活的方方面面。在这个阶段，当然有些母亲会出现不能接受孩子要求很多的情况；也会有些母亲则无法接受孩子变得越来越独立，与自己越来越不亲近的事实。
In this third subphase, while individuation proceeds very rapidly and the child exercises it to the limit, he also becomes more and more aware of his separateness and employs all kinds of mechanisms to resist separation from the mother.
在第三个阶段，虽然个体化进展的非常迅速，孩子们将其发挥到极限，但他也越来越清晰的意识到自己需要与母亲分离，并运用各种机制来抵抗这个分离。
But no matter how insistently the toddler tries to coerce the mother, she and he no longer function effectively as a dual unit; that is to say, he can no longer participate in the still maintained delusion of parental omnipotence. Verbal communication becomes more and more necessary; gestural coercion on the part of the toddler, or mutual preverbal empathy between mother and child, will no longer suffice to attain the goal of satisfaction, of well-being (Joffe & Sandler, 1965). The junior toddler gradually realizes that his love objects (his parents) are separate individuals with their own individual interests. He must gradually and painfully give up his delusion of his own grandeur, often with dramatic fights with mother—less so, it seemed to us, with father.
但是，无论孩子多么抗拒这个事情，但他和母亲都不再是共生体；也就是说，他再也不能一直保持“父母是全能“这个幻想了。自此之后，母子之间的前语言期的感同身受，蹒跚学步期的手势语言，越来越不能协助个体自己实现幸福的目标了（Joffe和 Sandler, 1965)，与此同时语言交流变得越来越重要。孩子逐渐意识到他爱的客体（他的父母）是独立于他之外的个体，有着和他不一样的兴趣。他必须逐渐痛苦地放弃觉得自己伟大的错觉，在这个阶段也出现他们会开始戏剧性的将注意放在父亲身上，像他们没有母亲一样。
This is the crossroad that my co-workers and I termed the rapprochement crisis.
According to Annemarie Weil's suggestion, at this point the three basic anxieties of early childhood so often coincide. There is still a fear of object loss, more or less replaced by a conspicuous fear of loss of love and, in particular, definite signs of castration anxiety.
Here, in the rapprochement subphase, we feel is the mainspring of man's eternal struggle against both fusion and isolation.
One could regard the entire life cycle as constituting a more or less successful process of distancing from and introjectio of the lost symbiotic mother, an eternal longing for the actual or fantasied 'ideal state of self', with the latter standing for a symbiotic fusion with the 'all good' symbiotic mother, who was at one time part of the self in a blissful state of well-being.
我和同事将孩子开始将注意力投注在父亲身上这个事情，称为“关系危机”。Annemarie Weil认为，在这一点上，童年的三种基本焦虑往往是一致的。在这个阶段个体对失去客体的恐惧，开始出现被失去爱的恐惧，尤其是被阉割焦虑所取代的迹象。在和解阶段，我们觉察到在融合和独立之间挣扎可能是人类永恒的动力。我们可以将整个生命周期视为一个成功的远离母亲和融入他所失去的与他共生母亲的过程，一个对真实的或幻想的对“理想自我状态”的永恒渴望，后者代表着与“全然美好”共生母亲的共生融合，全然美好的共生母亲曾是美好自我的一部分。
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