Sleep and his Half-brother Death (John William Waterhouse 1874)
为家庭提供的信息
当一个与他们有关的人死亡时,儿童和青少年可能也会像成年人一样感到强烈的悲伤,失落或悲痛。儿童和青少年也会像成年人一样通过他们的行为,他们的想法,他们说的话,以及他们的情绪感觉和身体来表达他们的悲伤。每个孩子的悲痛都是不同的,而且悲痛的方式与长短是没有正确与否的。
Some grief reactions cut across all age groups and developmental levels, and children may show their grief in many different ways. For example, grieving children or teens of any age may sleep or cry more than usual. They may regress and return to earlier behaviors, or they may develop new fears or problems in school. They may complain about aches and pains. They may be angry and irritable, or they may become withdrawn and isolate themselves from family and friends.
有些悲痛反应跨越了所有年龄组和发展水平,儿童可能以很多不同的方式表达他们的悲痛。例如,任何年龄段的悲痛的孩子或青少年可能比平时睡的更多或更容易哭泣。他们可能会退行,回到早期的行为,或者,他们可能会在学校出现新的恐惧与问题。他们可能会抱怨头痛和身体疼痛。他们可能会变得愤怒或易怒,或者会变得社会退缩和孤僻,将自己与家人和朋友相隔绝。
失去亲人的孩子所采取方式可能不会被他们周围的人识别为悲痛反应。例如,一个非常安静的幼童可能会更多的突然发怒,一个活跃的孩子可能会对以前他感兴趣或一直做的事情失去兴趣,或者,一个勤奋好学的孩子可能会从事危险的行为。无论孩子多大,他或她都可能会对已经导致的死亡感到不切实际的罪疚。有时,丧亲的孩子承担了成人的责任,并且担心幸存的家庭成员,担心如果他们的照顾者发生了什么事,谁会照顾他们。
童年的创伤性悲痛
PTSD). Children may be more likely to experience traumatic grief if the death was sudden or traumatic, if it occurred under terrifying circumstances, or if the child witnessed or learned of horrific details surrounding the death. Also, although posttraumatic stress reactions may occur after someone has been killed suddenly, they may also occur when the death was expected (such as following a long illness or disabling injury).
一些重要的人死后,一些儿童和青少年可能会体验到比平常更大的悲痛和沮丧,并且有更强烈的反应,这些被称为童年创伤性悲痛。在儿童创伤性悲痛中,儿童出现了与创伤后应激障碍(PTSD)相关的症状。如果死亡是突然的或创伤性的,如果发生在可怕的情况下,或者孩子目睹或了解了死亡的可怕细节,孩子们可能更容易经历创伤性悲痛。此外,虽然创伤后应激反应可能在有人突然死亡后发生,他们也可能发生在可预期死亡(如久病或致残)之后。
Not all children who experience the death of someone special under traumatic circumstances develop traumatic grief. However, in some cases, children may develop symptoms that interfere with their ability to grieve and to have comforting memories of the person who died. Traumatic grief may also interfere with everyday activities such as being with friends and doing schoolwork. PTSD symptoms in children with traumatic grief can include:
并不是所有在创伤性情况下经历特殊死亡的儿童都会产生创伤性悲痛。然而,在某些情况下,儿童可能会出现一些症状,这些症状干扰了他们的哀伤能力,干扰了他们对死去之人有安抚作用的记忆。创伤性悲痛也可能干扰日常活动,例如和朋友一起做功课。创伤后悲痛儿童的PTSD症状包括:
- Reliving aspects of the person’s death or having intrusive thoughts, for example, experiencing nightmares about the death, not being able to stop thinking about how the person died, imagining how much the person suffered, or imagining rescuing the person and reversing the outcome.
在想象中重温人的死亡或有侵入性想法的部分,例如,体验有关死亡的噩梦,无法停止这个人是怎样死的思维,想象这个人有多苦,或想象抢救这个人和逆转结果。
- Avoiding reminders of the death or of the person who died, for example, by avoiding pictures of the deceased person or by not visiting the cemetery, by not wanting to remember or talk about the person, or by feeling emotionally numb.
避免提及死亡或死去的人,例如,回避亡故之人的照片或不去扫墓,不想回忆或谈论逝者,或者情感上的麻木。
- Increased arousal, being nervous and jumpy or having trouble sleeping, having poor concentration, being irritable or angry, being “on alert,” being easily startled, and developing new fears.
唤起反应的增加,神经质和提心吊胆或者有失眠,注意力不集中,急躁或愤怒,“警觉”,易惊,并形成新的恐惧。
In general, if it becomes apparent that your child or teen is having very upsetting memories, avoiding activities or feelings, or experiencing physical, emotional, or learning problems, he or she may be having a traumatic grief reaction. (See Table 1 for examples of common and traumatic grief reactions in children at various ages.)
一般来说,如果你的孩子或青少年看上去有非常不安的记忆,回避运动或情绪感觉,或体验身体、情绪或学习问题,他或她可能已经有了创伤性的悲痛反应。(见表1,不同年龄的儿童常见的和创伤性的悲伤反应的例子。)
你可以为你的孩子或青少年寻求帮助或咨询:如果悲痛的反应似乎持续而没有得到减轻,如果他们在初始期的第一阶段后出现相对平静的,如果他们变得更糟,或者如果他们干扰你的孩子和朋友朋友相处、去学校、或享受的活动。
表1 儿童对死亡的理解和悲痛反应
Preschool and young children学龄前儿童和幼儿
Understanding of death对死亡的理解
- Do not understand that death is final.
不明白死亡是终了。- May think that they will see the person again or that the person can come back to life.
可能会认为他们会再次看到逝者或者逝者可以死而复生。- May think it was their fault that the person died.
可能认为逝者的去世是他们的错。Common grief reactions通常的悲痛反应
- May become upset when their routines change.
当他们的日常生活发生变化后可能会变得不安。- May get worried or fussy when apart from their usual caregivers and may be clingy and want extra attention.
可能会担心或易烦恼,当他们和日常照顾者分离的时候可能过于依赖别人并且需要额外的关注。- May express fears, sadness, and confusion by having nightmares or tantrums, being withdrawn, or regressing to earlier behaviors.