作者: 《童年与社会》 / 8017次阅读 时间: 2020年4月09日
标签: 孤独 亲密

IN6Y5w)E0亲密对孤独 INTIMACY 'D. ISOLATION心理学空间G&H3g`BM0H x:h

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The strength acquired at any stage is tested by the necessity to transcend it in such a way that the individual can take chances in the next stage with what was most vulnerably precious in the previous one. Thus, the young adult, emerging from the search for and the insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with that of others. He is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit himself to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they may call for significant sacrifices and compromises. Body and ego must now be masters of the organ modes and of the nuclear conflicts, in order to be able to face the fear of ego loss in situations which call for selfabandon: in the solidarity of close affiliations, in orgasms and Sexual unions, in close friendships and in physical combat, in ""Y1r\pr,'p ,n~I'1': of inspiration by teacht:rs and of intuition from the re(;e~:,e::; of the self. The avoidance of such experiences because of a fear of ego-loss may lead to a deep sense of isolation and consequent self-absorption.

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The counterpart of intimacy is distantiation: the readiness to isolate and, if necessary, to destroy those forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to one's own, and whose "territory" seems to encroach on the extent of one's intimate relations. Prejudices thus developed (and utilized and exploited in politics and in war) are a more mature outgrowth of the blinder repudiations which during the struggle for identity differentiate sharply and cruelly between the familiar and the foreign, The danger of this stage is that intimate, competitive, and combative relations are experienced with and against the selfsame people, But as the areas of adult duty are delineated, and as  the competitive encounter, and the sexual embrace, are differentiate, they eventually become subject to that ethical sense which is the mark of the adult,心理学空间+ui5d#s2_)nT`\

pA j#f0z*|"cl2Yl0与亲密接触相对的是拉开距离,即为孤立以及在必要情况下毁掉那些可能对个体造成威胁或者侵犯个体的亲密关系领域的力量和人做好准备。由此发展起来(并被政治和战争所利用)的偏见是盲目否认(在同一性斗争中严格划清了熟悉与陌生之间的界线)的结果。这一阶段的危险性是个体会既亲近又对抗这种亲密的、富有竞争性的关系。由于成年人的责任领域已经明晰,富有竞争性的对抗以及富有性意味的亲近也得到了区分,它们最终成了道德感的一部分,这也是成年人的标志。心理学空间,f!M'`h&E-q6b7}

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Strictly speaking, it is only now that true genitali{y can fully develop; for much of the sex life preceding these commitmentsis of the identity-searching kind, or is dominated by phallic or vaginal strivings which make of sex-life a kind of genital combat. On the other hand, genitality is all too often described as a permanent state of reciprocal sexual bliss. This, then, may be the place to complete our discussion of genitality.心理学空间 gW3X2i [.p


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g(CfA,c0For a basic orientation in the matter I shall quote what has come to me as Freud's shortest saying. It has often been claimed, and bad habits of conversation seem to sustain the claim, that psychoanalysis as a treatment attempts to convince the patient that before God and man he has only one obligation: to have good orgasms, with a fitting 'object', and that regularly. This, of course, is not true. Freud was once asked what he thought a normal person should be able to do well. The questioner probably expected a complicated answer. But Freud, in the curt way of his old days, is reported to have said: 'Liehen una arheiten' (to love and to work). It pays to ponder on this simple formula; it gets deeper as you think about it. For when Freud said 'love' he meant genita/love, and genital/ove; when he said love and work, he meant a general work-productiveness which would not preoccupy the individual to the extent that he loses his right or capacity to be a genital and a loving being. Thus we may ponder, but we cannot improve on, 'the professor's' formula.

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Genitality, then, consists in the unobstructed capacity to develop an orgastic potency so free of pregenital interference that genital libido (not just the sex products discharged in Kinsey's 'oudets') is expressed in heterosexual mutality, with full sensitivity of both penis and vagina, and with a convulsionlike discharge of tension from the whole body. This is a rather concrete way of saying something about a process which we really do not understand. To put it more situationally: the total fact of finding, via the climactic turmoil of the orgasm, a supreme experience of the mutual regulation of two beings in some way takes the edge off the hostilities and potential rages caused by the oppositeness of male and female, of fact and fancy, of love and hate. Satisfactory sex relations thus make sex less obsessive, overcompensation less necessary, sadistic controls superfluous.心理学空间#a\9}\,@x



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Preoccupied as it was with curative aspects, psychoanalysis often failed to formulate the matter of genitality in a way significant for the processes of society in an classes, nations, and levels of culture. The kind of mutuality in orgasm whichpsychoanalysis has in mind is apparently easily obtained in classes and cultures which happen to make a leisurely institution of it. In more complex societies this mutuality is interfered with by so many factors of health, of opportunity, and of temperament, that the proper formulation of sexual health would be rather this: a human being should be potentially able to accomplish mutuality of genital orgasm, but he should also be so constituted as to bear a certain amount of frustration in the matter without undue regression wherever emotional preference or considerations of duty and loyalty call for it.心理学空间$Vdor7zVj%KdN

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To$`^8x0While psychoanalysis has on occasion gone too far in its emphasis on genitality as a universal cure for society and has thus provided a new addiction and a new commodity for many who wished to so interpret its teachings, it has not always indicated all the goals that genitality actually should and must imply. In order to be of lasting social significance, the Utopia of genitality should include:心理学空间 Bd0h1npgxe%M

[+N4Q4L At6V0精神分析偶尔会过分强调生殖力是社会的一剂万能药,由此为许多人提供一种新的成瘾物和商品。然而,生殖力并不总能显示出它应该且必须具备的所有目的。为了具备永恒的社会意义,生殖力的理想国应当包括:心理学空间?rJ u Y8?K


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]y-g8j zrF!R0(2)和相爱的伴侣一起 with a loved partner;

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_?h2Bel'wq[\0(3)和另一性 of the other sex;心理学空间j$DP;|6nxo


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(4)希望并能够同对方相互信任 with whom one is able and willing to share a mutual trust;

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(5)希望并能够同对方一起调节 and with whom one is able and willing to regulate the cycles of:心理学空间+Ed4n'`*['[hEb

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'|8f0U%ku,[ AJ#M0    ①工作work;

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ri/q,eo;AzA9n0    ②生育procreation;心理学空间(\D1FLT+Zj

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(6)为了使子孙安全,所有阶段必须实现令人满意的发展so as to secure to the offspring, too, all the stages of a satisfactory development.。心理学空间z"AQbXD SF7^

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It is apparent that such Utopian accomplishment on a large Scale cannot be an individual or, indeed, a therapeutic task. Nor is it a purely sexual matter by any means. It is integral to a culture's style of sexual selection, cooperation, and competition.


l/}$jCa z8]0显然,这一理想国不可能是一项个人性或者治疗性的任务,也绝不是一个纯粹的关于性的问题。它对于一种文化的性别选择、合作及竞争风格来说是必需的。心理学空间3LHrF2pFTt0R


The danger of this stage is isolation, that is, the avoidance ofttonta,cts which commit to intimacy. In psychopathology, thisdisturbance can lead to severe 'character-problems'. On theother hand, there are partnerships which amount to an isolationdeux, protecting both partners from the necessity to face thenext critical development - that of generativity.

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+Tc2q p,N!V0Eb0这一阶段的危险是孤独,即避免带来亲密感的接触。在精神病理学中,这可能导致严重的“性格问题”。然而,孤独者也会与他人建立一种类似于男女双方的亲密关系的合作关系,这种关系能够保护合作的二人不必面对下一阶段的任务。

b'Hd.G u#cXo7_5E0www.psychspace.com心理学空间网
TAG: 孤独 亲密
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