That sweating, trembling feeling: 10 strategies to cope with your shyness
Social anxiety can manifest itself mentally and physically. Here are ways you can learn to manage it
焦虑可以在精神和身体上表现出来。您可以学习以下的方法管理你的社交焦虑
社交
A woman looks through a gap in the curtains.Shy people often feel anxious about social encounters. Photograph: Alamy
一个女人透过窗帘的缝隙看着窗外。害羞的人通常会对社交感到焦虑。摄影:Alamy
According to British singer-songwriter Morrissey, “shyness is nice”. When it leaves you feeling breathless, voiceless and even friendless, though, it can be anything but nice.
英国歌手莫里西(Morrissey)说,“害羞是美好的”。然而,害会让你感到喘不过气来,默不出声,甚至没朋友,害羞绝对不美好。
Shyness often manifests as social anxiety, and as Morrissey sings in his song Ask Me, it can stop you from doing the things you want to do in your life.
害羞常常表现为社交焦虑,正如莫里西在他的那首“Ask Me”中唱的那样,害羞能阻止你做你想做的事情。
After spending more than four decades wrangling with my own shyness, I wrote a book called Shy: A Memoir in which I investigated the causes and symptoms of this inherited personality trait.
人格特质的原因和症状。
在与自己的害羞争斗了四十年之久后,我写了一本名叫《害羞》的书:我在这本回忆录体的书中调查了这种遗传I discovered that shy people often felt anxious about social encounters because they feared other people’s judgment – specifically, their negative evaluation. We torment ourselves with self-critical thoughts such as “I look out of place”, “I sound stupid” and “I’m making a fool of myself”.
自我批评的思想折磨自己,比如“看起来我很不正常”,“我的话听起来很蠢”以及“我正在欺骗着自己”。
我发现,害羞的人经常对社交场合感到焦虑,因为他们害怕别人的判断,尤其害怕别人对他们的负面评价。我们用Our fear can manifest as a bunch of distressing physical symptoms, including sweating, trembling, hyperventilating and blushing. Shy folk feel self-conscious in the company of people they don’t know well and will cross the street to avoid having to speak to acquaintances. In the long term, social anxiety can also mess with the digestive system. All that churning sometimes causes Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).
我们的恐惧可以表现为一堆痛苦的身体症状,包括出汗,颤抖,呼吸急促,脸红。害羞的人在不熟悉的人的陪伴下会感到不自在,过马路时,他们会避免与熟人交谈。从长远来看,社交焦虑也会影响消化系统。所有这些搅动有时会引起肠易激综合征(IBS)。
The good news is that shy people are often those with the most empathy. We spend a lot of time considering what other people are thinking. Many shy people go into the caring professions, like nursing, teaching and counselling.