Understanding Self-Esteem in Children
Go Forth to Life
Samuel Longfellow
Go forth to life, oh! child of Earth
Still mindful of thy heavenly birth,
Thou art not here for ease or sin,
But manhood's noble crown to win
Though passion's fires are in thy soul,
Thy spirit can their flames control,
Though tempters strong beset thy way,
Thy spirit is more strong than they.
Go on from innocence of youth
To manly pureness, manly truth,
God's angels still are near to save,
And God himself doth help the brave.
Then forth to life, oh! child of Earth,
Be worthy of thy heavenly birth,
For noble service thou art here,
Thy brothers help, thy God revere!
Our children are our life's work. What parent wouldn't want their child to have all the feelings of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem that they need? Helping your child grow up to have an optimum level of self-esteem is one of the most important goals of being a parent. The foundation of a child's self-esteem is formed in the first year or two of their life. "Parents begin laying the foundation for self-confidence during a child's infancy. When infants find that cries are responded to promptly and are offered encouraging words at early attempts to pick up objects and interact with people, they sense the world is stable, secure, and coherent."(Eric Turpin, M.D. at U of W)
"With unconditional support early on, children internalize positive regard so that when they are older, they can approve of themselves, pat themselves on the back, give themselves psychological hugs--all of which contribute to high self-esteem. Another major part of self-esteem, beginning at about age eight, is feeling competent and adequate across various domains of life. One does not have to feel competent in every domain in order to experience high self-esteem. Rather one needs to feel competent in every domain that he or she judges to be important."(Susan Harter, The Process of Parenting 4th edition, 1996 Mayfield Pub. Co., London, p.38)
Four Key Aspects of Improving Children's Self-Esteem
Identifying the causes of low self-esteem and the domains important to the self
Children have the highest self-esteem when they perform competently in the domains important to the self.
Emotional support and social approval
Both adult and peer support are important influences on a child's self-esteem.
Achievement
Erik Eriksons 4th stage of development, "Industry vs Inferiority". Children develop higher self-esteem when they are able to achieve the goals they make.
Coping
Self-esteem increases when a child faces a problem and tries to cope with it rather than avoid it.
(Santrock, John W., (1997) Life-Span Development (7th ed.), p.314)
#1. According to Susan Harter (1985), self-esteem (the global evaluative dimension of the self) is divided into five domains in the Self-Perception Profile for Children. These are:
｀Scholastic competence
｀Athletic competence
｀Physical appearance
｀Peer acceptance
｀Behavioral conduct
｀(plus general feelings of self-worth)
General feelings of self-worth are related to two independent factors. These are:
- one's feelings of competence in the domains one feels are of importance
- the amount of social support one receives for others
#2 Parents, family members, and peers fulfill important roles in the development of self-esteem in children. During the childhood years, one's self-esteem is largely based on their perceptions of how the important adults and peers in their lives judge them. Children with healthy self-esteem feel that the important adults and peers in their lives accept them and care about them.
In the most extensive study of parent-child relationships and self-esteem, the following parenting attributes were associated with boys' high self-esteem (Coopersmith, 1967) (taken from Santrock, John W., Life-Span Development, 7th Edition).
｀Expression of affection
｀Concern about the child's problems
｀Harmony in the home
｀Participation in joint family activities
｀Availability to give competent, organized help to the boys when they need it
｀Setting clear and fair rules
During the first years of school, children's peer groups fulfill important functions. Not only do they provide companionship and recreation, but they also help fulfill other needs as well. They help the child's need to feel accepted. They also help the child to develop their self-concept. The development of self is directly related to how children think others perceive them. Also, peer groups are important for the formation and redefining of values and attitudes.
#3 Achievement When children enter into Erikson's fourth stage of the human life span, industry versus inferiority, children can strengthen their self-esteem by following their inner urge to create and accomplish. "Self-esteem is unlikely to be fostered by easy success on a series of trivial tasks. Young children are more likely to benefit from a real challenge and hard work than from frivolous one-shot activities. In a report on the work of her first grade children's weather project, a teacher complained that it took four children three days to create a working anemometer (a horizontal device for measuring wind speed ). Their first few attempts were flawed by their use of so much masking tape to attach the four vanes to the center that a gale force wind was needed to make such a heavy instrument revolve. The children refused to give up their attempt even though their persistence interrupted the teacher's schedule of work. Their eventual success was a source of real satisfaction to them, to say nothing of the learning it provided. The device was much appreciated by their classmates, and ultimately by the teacher as well" (http://ericps.edu/eece/pubs/books/selfe/practice.html). "The emphasis on the importance of achievement in improving self-esteem has much in common with Bandura's cognitive social learning concept of self-efficacy, which refers to individual's beliefs that they can master a situation and produce positive outcomes."(Santrock, John W., (1997) Life-Span Development (7th ed.), p.314)
#4 CopingWhen children are involved in challenging activities they are bound to experience failures at some point. It is important that we teach our children to face these challenges and cope constructively when they fail to accomplish what they wanted. "Self-esteem is often increased when children face a problem and try to cope with it rather than avoid it. If coping rather than avoidance prevails, children often have problems realistically, honestly, and nondefensively. This produces favorable self-evaluative thoughts, which lead to the self-generated approval that raises self-esteem."(Santrock, John W. (1997) Life-Span Development (7th edition) Dallas, U of T, p. 315)
Self-esteem is important in a child's development. Strengthening a child's self-esteem can be accomplished by helping the child identify and value the domains important to them; by parents, family, and peers providing emotional support, encouraging creativity and setting goals to accomplish; and by helping them to face the difficulties that life presents.
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