An Enactment: Guilt and Narcissisms
扮演：内疚和自恋
In deceptively smooth treatments, we find in retrospect that, all along,each participant was influencing the other to maintain the status quo. Inone case of mine, the patient, a talented but immature man in his 30s whohad managed to deep-six virtually everyone of the many academic andprofessional opportunities he had had, worked very hard in treatment andexpressed deep appreciation to me, though he also expressed his fear thatI would somehow indoctrinate him and make it impossible for him tocontinue the somewhat self-destructive "fringe" life he had been leading.
我们回想起来，在看似顺利的治疗中，每个参与者一直都会影响对方维持现状。在我的一个案例中，病人是一个30多岁的有才华但还不成熟的男人，他几乎扼杀了所有学术和专业机会，在治疗中非常努力，并向我表达了深深的感激，尽管他也表达了他担心我会以某种方式灌输他，让他无法继续他一向领导的有点自我毁灭的“边缘”生活。
During onc of his high school years, he have been in a once-per-week psychotherapy for his academic problems, but that treatment had seemedto him to be nothing more than tutoring, and useless tutoring at that.According to him, his therapist, like his teachers (and himself, for thatmatter) had been completely baffled about why this very bright and apparently well-meaning young man, who seemed quite sincere about wantingto do well, Just could not seem to get his work done.
在他高中时代，他曾因为学业问题每周接受一次心理治疗，但对他来说，这种治疗似乎只不过是辅导，而且还是无用的辅导。据他说，他的治疗师和他的老师（以及他自己）一样，完全不明白为什么这个非常聪明、显然善意的年轻人，他似乎非常真诚地想要做好，但似乎无法完成他的工作。
After a year and a half or so, during which lime the treatment seemedimmensely productive to both of us, I began to feel a vague sense of unease.Something bothered me. Over a period of a couple of weeks. I began toformulate what was the matter.
大约一年半之后，治疗似乎对我们两人都产生了巨大的效果，我开始感到一种模糊的不安感。在几周的时间里，有些事情困扰着我。我开始想出问题所在。
The treatment had begun to feel to mevery subtly less alive, less continuously intriguing and animated. Certainmoments that I knew would have been interesting in the recent past werenow perhaps a little flat or stale, maybe just a bit forced. Simultaneously,the analysand, while insisting he was trying as hard as he could, was failingquite spectacularly in certain academic activities that he had felt, withmy tacit agreement, would represent progress for him.
治疗开始让我觉得不那么有活力，不那么持续地有趣和生动。我知道最近有些时刻会很有趣，但现在可能有点平淡或陈旧，也许只是有点勉强。与此同时，分析师虽然坚称自己已经尽了最大努力，但在某些学术活动中却非常失败，而这些活动是他觉得能代表他进步的，我对此表示默认。
We found out somewhat later that the analysand was doing With meprecisely what he had done with his parents, though as is so often the case,he was doing it with such utter naturalness that it shaped our Interactionunobtrusively.后来我们才知道，来访对我所做的事，跟对他父母做的事一模一样，尽管通常都是如此，他做这些事时，表现得如此自然，以至于我们的互动没有引起注意。
On the face of it, he was the dutiful, cheerful, and lovingson; but he was simultaneously failing in an unconsciously purposeful waythat he was able to believe consciously had nothing at all to do with hisown intentions.
从表面上看，他是一个孝顺、开朗、可爱的孩子；但他同时也在不知不觉中失去了目标，他能够有意识地相信这与自己的意图毫无关系。
We eventually learned that he had always been angry anddepressed at the expectations he faced from his parents, which had neverseemed to him to have much to do with what he wanted from life or howhe felt; but because of his parents' narcissistic vulnerability and his lovingfeelings toward them, he had felt too guilty to protest directly.
我们最终了解到，他一直对自己父母对他的期望感到愤怒和沮丧，在他看来，这些期望似乎与他想要的生活或他的感受无关；但由于他父母的自恋和脆弱，以及他对他们的爱，他感到太内疚而无法直接抗议。
Instead, heacted out in a way that was invisible to him but that hit them where it hurt:He failed dramatically to accomplish anything that would have pleasedthem, a mission that had ruined everyone of the opportunities they hadfound a way to offer him. With me, the patient had begun the relationshipin a genuinely collaborative mode in which we had accomplished a greatdeal. I have not felt the need to revise that initial impression.
相反，他以一种对自己来说看不见的方式行动，却击中了他们的痛处：他戏剧性地未能完成任何让他们高兴的事情，这项任务破坏了他们为他提供的每一个机会。对我来说，这位病人以一种真正的合作模式开始了这段关系，我们取得了很大的成就。我觉得没有必要改变最初的印象。
But we alsodiscovered that, as I had begun to enjoy his collaboration, he had begunto resent my pleasure, and had revised Our history together, beginning tosuspect (without quite realizing that he felt that way) that we had institutedour collaboration more for my reasons than for his own.
但我们同样发现，当我开始享受他的合作时，他开始讨厌我的快乐，我们一起修改了我们的历史，开始怀疑（不太清楚他是否有这种感觉）我们合作更多的是出于我的原因，而不是他自己的原因。
He then began totreat me as if I needed this narcissistic pleasure, as he had felt (again, in an unformulated kind of way) his parents had. For a while, I had not noticedthis change. or had registered it only as a subtle affective shift. most of thetime continuing to enjoy what was fast becoming a pseudo-alliance andingratiation.
然后，他开始像对待他父母那样（再次以一种未明说的方式）对待我，仿佛我需要这种自恋的快乐。有一段时间，我没有注意到这种变化，或者只是把它当作一种微妙的情感转变。大多数时候，我继续享受着这种迅速成为伪联盟和讨好的关系。
just as his parents. by what I could gather from his reports.had always taken pleasure in what seemed to be his adoration and goodcheer. It came to my attention in these weeks that I had also been enjoyinghis appreciative responses to my interpretations. and I now realized that Ihad been making more of them recently than I usually do.
正如我从他的报告中推测的那样，他的父母总是乐于接受他的崇拜和欢呼。这几个星期以来，我注意到他也非常欣赏我对他的诠释，我现在意识到，我最近比平时更经常地做这些事情。
The analysand.in other words. was playing to what he unconsciously fell into assuming was my narcissism. and I was enjoying it enough that he had reason tobelieve that he needed to keep me well supplied if we were to continue toget along together.
换句话说，被分析者正在利用他无意识陷入的假设，即我的自恋。我非常享受这一点，以至于他有理由相信，如果我们继续相处下去，他需要让我保持良好状态。
For my present purpose. the point of the illustration is that I respondedto the analysand's way of relating to me by developing a countertransferencethat. in turn. reinforced his transference; and as a result. as is usuallythe case. he and I locked each other so securely into an unconscious set ofinterpersonal patterns that it soon became irrelevant.
就我现在的目的而言，这个例子的重点是，我通过发展一种反移情来回应分析者与我建立联系的方式。反过来强化了他的移情；结果，就像通常的情况一样，他和我彼此牢牢地锁在一种无意识的人际关系模式中，以至于很快变得无关紧要。
actually. which of uswas responsible for having provoked the interaction in the first place. Thevery idea of determining such a thing. as a matter of fact. would have been(and often or even usually is) nothing more than a blaming operation.
事实上我们中应该有人为这种互动负责。事实上，决定这样一件事的想法，本来（而且经常甚至通常）只不过是一种指责行为。
Once the nature of our relatedness came to light. there was the possibilityfor change; and so my example illustrates not only the interlocking oftransference and countertransference. but also the breaking of this mutualgrip. How and why that happens is my primary question. Why did I not simplycontinue to play out this scenario of narcissism?
一旦我们之间的关联性被揭示，就有可能发生改变；所以我的例子不仅说明了移情和反移情的相互联系，也说明了如何打破这种相互控制。如何以及为什么会发生这种情况的主要问题在于我。为什么我不继续扮演这种自恋的场景？
Where did the vaguediscomfort that helped me to see things differently come from? Eventually.once I had made some sense of my feelings. I drew the patient's attentionto what I had noticed about the change in the atmosphere between us andinvited him to investigate it with me. The results I have already described.I turn now to what made this turn of events possible .
帮助我以不同方式看待事物的模糊的不适感从何而来？最终，一旦我弄清楚了自己的感受，我就把病人的注意力吸引到我注意到我们之间气氛的变化上，并邀请他和我一起调查。我已经描述了结果。现在，我要谈谈是什么让这一转变成为可能。
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